Turn on the Radio, Naw, Fuck It, Turn It Off

Has anyone tuned into local sports talk radio recently? If you understood the title, then my guess is probably no. But in what was once a one horse town, there are now 3 all sports radio stations in Houston with a 4th to go live in a matter of weeks. So one would think that there would be all kinds of choices out there.

Yeah and Rosie O'Donnell looks great in a thong.

Ever since 610 changed hosts things have gone in the crapper. The once brilliant morning show (J-Fizzle excluded) is now gone. John Granato will host a show for the new station and Lance Zierlein is somewhere driving a Saturn or feeding his dogs Purina 1. But John McClain and Dick Justice do still stop by.

So who does 610 replace them with? They insert Marc Vandercarr in Granato's shoes and Andre Ware in Zierlein's. Now Marc isn't bad but he provides nothing. I think the only thing he really knows is rock n roll but even then it's only pre-1980. He's basically a smooth voice to control the show. And 610 had the bright idea to pair him with his NFL Sunday counterpart. I'll admit I was initially pulling for Andre. He's a Coog and all but the guy needs to stick to football games. He's way too boring and doesn't know enough about other sports. And his "schtick" about bringing some "urban flavor" to the airwaves? Well, Lance Z. is probably blacker than Andre.

In the afternoon, 610 chooses to waste Matt Jackson's talent with Rich Lord. If there were ever a case study on lazy sports talk host it's Lord. Supposedly he's the "color" guy. The one that gives opinions and such. You think he might would have some inside knowledge, maybe talk to the players/management, but no, Lord likes to just catch the daily Sportscenter and/or read the Chronicle and go from there. I can have a conversation with my kid brother if I want that.

As for Adam Wexler, well if a tree falls in a forest.........eh, I think you get the point.

But what about the other stations. Well, here you go. 97.5 is still trying to find it's voice. The ESPN progamming is what it is. Jerome Solomon tries too hard on the afternoon show with Jorge Vargas. Give them a few months and it could be listenable but I doubt it.

790 just plain sucks. The morning show is a joke-Davies and Dukes? More like Davies and Dookie. And the midday show is just as bad. John Lopez does have some insight from time to time because he actually is inside the locker room and I'm guessing he's talked to a couple GM's before. But his voice drives me wild (not that way either). His soft latin L's are like jackhammers to the skull. And how shitty is a show when they have to have a "Question of the Day"? Let's cut the "schtick" and get to the talk. Charlie Pallillo in the drivetime is not bad. Full of himself but better than anyone else on 790.

Let's hope that this new station is a little better. I like the addition of Ken Hoffman to the mix as a non-sports guy. Until then it's time to buy more cds and turn off the radio. Maybe give Rage Against the Machine a spin.